Posted by: glitterseason | January 24, 2011

happy new year!

wow! How is it 2011? I hope everyone is well!

I’ve had a few ups and downs since my last entry. Late November I broke up with my boyfriend. It was difficult and the relationship had been going wrong since March when he gave me an STI…. obviously I was/am extremely angry and hurt, especially as I have never had unprotected sex in my life, which I think is quite unusual for a girl in her mid-20s. I thought I could forgive him and move on, but nothing has been the same since. I was avoiding sex and feeling more and more miserable and in the end we drifted apart. He ended it. That night, we met in London and he told me we should split. I was so upset, I don’t like crying on public transport, so I travelled home before I could cry. When I arrived home I just cried and cried. I drank a bottle of ginger wine (which I now hate!!!) and cut myself. It was honestly a massive relief. I cut myself about 60 times in one go. I could finally breathe. When I awoke in the morning, I felt so much better, like my body had been purged of all the hurt and pain felt since march.

Since then, things have got better. I feel so much happier. I am enjoying being single. Work has improved. Life has improved in general. I haven’t self harmed and for the first time in ages, I havent even had the urge. I have been to parties, clubs, gigs and house parties and I even got to sleep with a girl…

But what all this proves is that the hair pulling has NOT decreased or increased. It seems mood has no impact on trich for me. Maybe anxiety sometimes, but I find myself doing it all the time. It is a habit of poor impulse control, not mood. Hmph.

So happy 2011!

Oh….still haven’t heard from the CMHT….


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