Posted by: glitterseason | June 6, 2010

depression & NHS

For some reason depression seems to creep up on me. I don’t see it coming at all, I deny it because I can’t admit it, but it’s back again. Maybe it never left.

I have a lack of energy at the moment, possibly I could be anaemic, and I am suffering a huge amount of stress because of bullying at work. (Yes I am talking about bullying on an NHS mental health ward). It’s not a healthy place to be and it’s not a healthy place to work.

Anyway, I booked my doctor to phone me and let her know I still have not heard from the CMHT. She was shocked and said she would follow it up and then call me on Tuesday. She didn’t call me. So I booked a counselling appointment with the staff counselling service. But I had 7 sessions last year and she wasn’t very happy about me seeing her again. I am stuck between being too unwell for the primary care but not ill enough for secondary care. Feels like I need to ‘do something’ to be taken seriously. Obviously I would not do that but I am starting to understand why someone would! If I could just get the help now then I would probably save the NHS money in the future.

I was talking to a friend yesterday who gave up biting her nails. For me I see my hair pulling as very similar to biting nails. I asked her how she did it and she stated it was ‘will power’. Is it possible to give up via will power?

Anyway, bit of fun, I took a diagnostic test on MyTherapy. What a joke. Tells me I have Major Depression (TRUE) with psychotic (NOT true), Schizoid Personality Disorder (AS IF), Anorexia (HAHA no I don’t!) and OCD (Trich could be seen as OCD…!)

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