Posted by: glitterseason | May 16, 2010

telling people….

I received a comment today in which the individual mentioned that she had not been able to tell her boyfriend of 5 months. I have not been able to tell my boyfriend either.

Why is this?

My boyfriend knows a lot about my problems, including my self harming but never been able to tell him, or anyone in fact.
I swear people must know, as I spend so much time touching my hair even when in front of people. My parents always used to tell me off when they saw me touching my head but I think that was just because they thought it was anti-social.

When I was 13, I pulled out around about a clump of hair to the size of a 50 pence piece on the crown of my head. When it started growing back it was a ‘clump’, I remember sitting down and pulling it all out again. Eventually at 14 I let it grow back but as my hair was waist length, it was so obvious. It also grew back red and curly neither of which my hair is, so it looked so stupid. Thats when the shame really set in because I didn’t want my parents to know. However I couldn’t keep it a secret and they just thought I had it because I wore my hair in a pony tail at night and that I had ripped it that way….anyway, 12 years later and they still don’t know the truth. Thankfully it looks fairly normal now. People at school used to tease me about it, so of course I would not want them to know that I had done it.

Basically it has been an unwritten rule not to tell anyone, ever.

So should I tell my boyfriend? I know he would be understanding, but I just feel like it’s ‘one more crazy thing’ and also, I just feel so out of control with it. It’s the only thing I feel like this about!

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Responses

  1. I’m really interested about the unwritten rule. Does anyone who has told people, and relied on your support from someone like your boyfriend, found it’s easier to overcome trich, or at least to cope with it?

  2. I told mine at the very begining. Anyways he was going to see it!
    And he loves me, he doesn´t care and he just try to learn and help. He just cares because he knows it makes me sad, if not he would ignore it cuz, as he says, other people bite their nails, their lips or do whatever to manage stress. So, why this must be different? Just because having no hair make us be ashamed, embarrassed.

    I know, it is easy to say but hard to do it, but you must tell him. Sadly for us, trico is a very important part of us. If he loves you, he must know you completely, not just the “happy” or “easy” part. He would understand, and if not, give him some time to do it. If he doesn´t try to understand you… give him a kick in the ass!

    Telling somebody doesn´t help to stop pulling, but it makes living easier. Cuz at least you can trust somebody, you can tell him how nervous you feel or what had happened that made you pull your hair today, or even “ey, sweety, let´s play cards or do something cuz I´ve started to pull and you know it´s hard to stop when you start! let´s have fun and do something with my hands!”. And, the most important thing, you don´t have to hide.

    Good luck and sorry for my bad english! I hope I made my point!

    http://tricoyyo.blogspot.com/ (my trico diary, in spanish).

  3. Hey 🙂
    im only 16 but i have been living with Trichotillomania since i was 10(literally pulling all day every day to the point where spot are very hard to hide).i just recently told my boyfriend of a year that i pull out my hair. amazingly from that day the pulling decreased and he talks to me every day about it. he is the first and only person that i have EVER told(besides my parents) and recently there has been almost no pulling at all. i would suggest that every pick someone to tell it is the best Ive ever felt and it dose nothing but help 🙂


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