Posted by: glitterseason | July 20, 2008

update and sexuality

wow I am so touched that so many people have been leaving comments here. Most of which are people telling me they have the same problem! I have had emails and such from people saying that they bite the root off the hair too. Isn’t the Internet wonderful, that we can seek support in this way?

My pulling seems to be getting worse, work is stressful at the moment and so I put it down to that. I can’t stop pulling and it seems to be mainly from the left side of my head. I have noticed its a lot thinner. Yesterday on the underground, I lent my head against the side and could feel the cool plastic on the skin of my head, a sure sign it is getting thinner. I remember back when I was 13 and had a bald patch on the top of my head and one time when I was laying in the bath, I put my head back and could feel the cold of the bath on the back of my head and it really made me feel sick. I’m not really sure how I can improve this problem at the moment, it just seems totally out of control. Well I say that, but the bikini line problem I spoke of before has got a bit better and my stomach doesn’t look so bad. It’s just my scalp that is the worst really. When I run my fingers through my hair, touching my scalp, I can feel little prickles as if they are stubble’s on my head. It’s so strange. i often wonder what hairdressers think!!!!! Or maybe its more common then I think. I remember again, back when I was 13…I didn’t have my hair cut for a year because my hair was growing back from my big bald patch…only my other hair was waist length and straight and the hair growing back was bright red, coarse and curly. It looked so stupid and people commented on it. I was so embarrassed and I remember my hairdresser puzzling over how I could get such a strange piece of hair. It finally grew out when I was 18. So from the ages of 13-18 I couldn’t wear my hair down ever. It upset me so much. I don’t want to end up back there.

Anywayyy lets talk about SEXUALITY. Something different, a little off topic, but it helps people to get an insight in to why I have mental health problems. Well partly.

I am a bi-sexual female. Wow..it’s only been over the past year I have realised this. (I am 23) Currently I have only ever had 2 boyfriends and I have never had penetrative sex. Nope. Never. So technically I am an almost 24 year old virgin..but I don’t see it like that. I have no interest in penetrative sex. But I like boys. But I like girls too. Its all very confusing and has been an identity crisis for me over the years. I always assumed I would figure out if I was gay or straight……….but that never happened so I figure I must be bi. I have kissed loads of men and women…and I like both. I guess its just another source of anxiety that can contribute to trich existing and giving it something to feed off of. My friends mostly all know I am bi, but I have never told my parents or family.

Annnnnnnd something else….my skin is really bad at the moment. I have spots, well 4 on my face. I pick at them which is so annoying but I liken it to trich because its uncontrollable! So annoying.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who sends me nice messages, I love you all <3333

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Its great you’re getting such a response with your blog – it’s really useful for people to find others who are honest about it 🙂 I had the same thing as you when I was younger, never wearing my hair down, never letting anyone see it. I had to gel down the weird curly bits that didn’t fit in. I hope it’s not like that for you again.

    Good luck with everything else too, hopefully you will start to feel less anxious about your sexuality and everything else in time, and your blog can probably help with that 🙂

  2. Hmm perhaps you could wear a hat..I know that you can take it off but every time you feel the material you can try your best to change your mind

    I accepted being bisexual at 14, i started questioning myself at 8. Young i know, it was so confusing, i lost my virginity at 13 because i was so upset and scared. But know i understand and i have had relations with both men and women (i’m 15 by the way) and i’m quite certain of my sexuality now ^^

    I hope you manage to stop, atleast to an extent, pulling hairs out. It’ll be a real inner battle but at all times remember, the side that doesn’t want it is the one to listen to

    x

  3. Trich tends to make you not feel comfortable with the opposite sex near you..so its not surprising. The thought of your wig falling off or anyone’s arm around you and them finding out it is a wig is just something you can’t deal with. So you avoid romantic situations completely. The only way it would work is if you had an incredibly patient guy (or girl in your case) that would be cool with the fact that you need more time to warm up with them and develop the trust you need to let them accept you for you. Don’t feel bad about being a 24 year old virgin – I have the same problem with the hair pulling and I’m a 27 year old virgin so far that has only had boyfriends online. Get a pet they are loyal and love you no matter what – I have a cat myself. He really helps and if I pull too much he will bite my leg for attention and to get me to stop…lol

  4. I’m a casting producer on a new documentary for A&E and we are looking for people who have trichotillomania in Southern CA. Participants will receive four months of FREE therapy with doctors and therapists, including: Karen Pickett, MFT, Dr. Shana Doronn and John Tsillimparis, MFT.

    This is a non-exploitive program that will shed light on this serious topic.

    Please let me know if you are interested!

    Thanks!
    310-341-2500 – ask for casting! therapycasting@yahoo.com

  5. […] – bookmarked by 1 members originally found by miccsjc1115 on 2008-12-25 update and sexuality https://trichotillomania.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/update-and-sexuality/ – bookmarked by 2 members […]

  6. Hi im bi and have trich aswel which makes life hard. I find it hard living with trich because i find it hard to tell people. I totally understand you.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: