Posted by: glitterseason | February 11, 2008

ouch

Well, I haven’t written for a while.

Things are good at the moment, I have started my perfect job, have great friends, going out lots, not so tired all the time…yet…I am still pulling everyday. I have decided that actually it isn’t related to mood and self harm, it is a compulsive habbit, or tick or something.

I haven’t self harmed for 8 months. Oh my goodness, I want to shout it from the roof tops, but I can’t because not many people knew in the 1st place! 8 months is the longest since I was 10 years old….it has taken 13 long years to get to this point. Stopping self harming, cutting that is, is completely different to stopping hair pulling. Cutting seems to be a conscious thought and process and action. Pulling out my hair just happens, all day, everyday, no matter where I am, I still do it. Even when with people. I so want to stop but I just can’t seem to, because I just find myself doing it, or the urge is too strong and I find it too soothing.

I am not really sure where to go with it. I find it much harder to talk about and admit, because its so strange. Self harm gets a lot more coverage in the media and so there is more awareness about it. Pulling hair doesnt get the same treatment, so people just think you can just stop. But you cant!

On the funny side of it all, I had my legs professionally waxed for the 1st time on saturday…and I was in so much pain, I screamed! How can I have this problem and yet find this so painful!

heh.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I would jsut like to say that I really admire you for being able to tell the world your experiences and feelings, because it really does take guts! I doubt I’d manage to do it at all, even if I kept my identity anonymous.

    I’m a 16year old girl, and I’ve been pulling out my hair for years, probably since I was about 10 or younger, but it’s only in these recent 6months that it’s gotten quite bad to the point where I have a bald patch on the back of my head now (and it’s near the top and massive, making it nearly impossible to cover). I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety, and have been receiving psychological help for almost a year now. *On the road to recovery*

    I don’t mean to criticise, but I would like to point out that (as I was told by my psychologists) pulling out your hair IS a form of self-harm. I find it really difficult to classify what I do as self-harming, because I always associate the term with cutting, hitting yourself, etc, but still, it’s what I’m told.

    Anyways, I’m so happy you haven’t cut in so long and that your life is getting back on track! Keep up the good work and the positive attitude! I know it’s hard because life is so up-and-down, but for every down there IS an up and we all just need to remember that!!!

    Thank you for writing this wonderful blog,
    MiniLuv xxx

  2. hello mini luv, I hope you read this!
    I hope you are ok, thank you for contacting me! I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much…I can remember when I had a bald patch on the top of my head at your age, and it affected me so much, more so when it grew back. I hope you can find the strength to reduce the epidodes 🙂

    I do realise trich is a form of self harm, its just for me, they are different kinds of self harm and they happen for different reasons. Cutting, for me, is when my emotions are extreme…and I am usually suicidal. Pulling out hair is more of an uncontrollable habit, like biting your nails, that does increase when I am depressed, but is always there even when I feel good.

    Please contact me again (or email me!) if you want to talk,
    xxxx

  3. pulling out your hair is not good cos sometimes there is no re-growth…take care guys xxx

  4. your not disgusting!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: