Posted by: glitterseason | October 13, 2007

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oh no.

So many good things have happened recently. Lovely things and I realise I am lucky.

Why am I sitting here crying?

I have barely pulled today, infact I cant even remember doing it once. Oh I need to cut so badly, I can feel the physical sickness inside me about to boil over. I am just fed up of being nothing. Never being good enough,  I don’t care if that is a negative self belief with no evidence, it doesn’t need evidence, it just is. I know I am useless, I don’t need to talk it through to prove it. I feel so bad. I don’t know why, maybe it is because I have gone 3 days without anti-depressants? But I was totally hyper today, I put all my energy into work, to be as good as I could.

I am telling myself the feeling will go, it wont last forever, I dont need to cut because it doesnt do anything.

Make it go away.

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Responses

  1. Personally I find anti-depressants are mostly a placebo effect than anything substantial. What you describe about not being good enough and being nothing sounds like what an author might call “the human condition.”

    Try listening to some profound music. “A Day In The Life” by the Beatles, maybe.

    Hope this helps,

    -Louis


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