That’s right, 8 months after my initial assessment and two and a half years since my referral, I have finally started having CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)! I feel so lucky that I can’t quite believe it is real! I have been offered between 10 and 20 sessions, all on the NHS. I have a CBT therapist in training, but this is ok with me. She seems quite competent. I find it difficult talking to people near my age purely because I feel stupid that I am being treated by someone who could possibly also be in their 20’s and same age as me, however this is my own issue. I felt too scared to mention trich in the first session, but I managed to in my second session. I really had to force myself as I find it so embarressing to talk about. I am not even sure if I can bring myself to talk about the bit where I bite the root off. Ergh. My homework this week is to think about how I feel when I pull, what hairs I choose, what I am thinking at the time…This made me think; what hairs do you pull?
I always pull fairly short ones. But my usual thoughts are “oh I am pulling, STOP STOP STOP STOP” and eventually I stop. I am usually just sitting watching TV or on my computer at work. Sometimes I am anxious, sometimes I am just hungry.
I am scared to stop this habit as I am so embarressed by it and I would really like my hair to be thicker, however pulling my hair out is relaxing and feels nice. Part of me does not want to give up….
it is going to be quite a journey; considering I have other problems I should probably deal with too.