This is the most embarrassing and shameful part of my struggles with Trichotillomania. I pull the hair to find a root and then I pull it off the hair. Some people bite it off, others like me just like to remove it with their mouths. I find great relief when i have pulled and then removed the route. I am not interested in eating it, just the process of pulling, looking, separating the route with my mouth and then starting again is enough to keep me trapped. Of course not every hair has a route like this, so this just compels me to carry on pulling until I find one. Then I carry on. Its getting bad…my hair is thinning.
I find this picture a little ‘triggering’ in the same way a self harmer who cuts, finds pictures of self harm triggering. It sends a tingle through me and I know I will be compelled to do it again. And again.
I am going to go to the doctor about this, I am sick of it. But I am so ashamed that I don’t think I can talk about the fact I like to bite the routes.
That picture gives me a tingle too, its not a feeling thats too comfortable :S
By: mspennylane on May 23, 2008
at 4:06 pm
i have the same problem. my hair used to be really thick and since i’ve pulled it out it bothers me. i don’t think i have bald spots, but i’m afraid i pull so much that it won’t come back. and it’s all for those roots. it actually bugs be to see the picture because it reminds me of something i’m doing that i know isn’t a healthy action. i just can’t seem to stop until i find a really perfect one.
By: bek on May 26, 2008
at 1:50 pm
I have this too!! I will sit for ages pulling hairs from my head just to find a glossy root. Im so embarrassed of it but i cant stop! I mean its am obsession right? But such a strange one! Its SO annoying and even leaving me with small able spots on my head which some people have noticed. What am i doing?
By: Clare on May 27, 2008
at 1:14 am
Hi! I’ve seen some hits at my site from here so I just wanted to stop in and say hello. I don’t know much about this Trichotillomania condition but it’s wonderful that you have so many great references here for people to help themselves to. I have thin hair myself mostly due to genetics/thyroid issues and a bout with cancer. So I haven’t got enough to spare to pull out. LOL. Seriously, I hope you are doing well.
By: teeni on May 27, 2008
at 9:41 pm
You’ve been around on my blog a little, so I think you know I do this part too. A LOT of us do. I think it is part of the whole sensory experience for us. The search for the root is why I can almost stomach Trich being listed next to compulsive gambling in the DSM-IV. I mean, searching for a “good” root is just like playing for the big win. This is also part of why I don’t let myself gamble!! Do you have any of the informational pamphlets about TTM from TLC? I like to give those to doctors or other professionals when I tell them about my pulling. That way I don’t have to answer their stupid questions about a disorder they should have been taught in school. Anyway, it seems to take a lot of the shame out of TTM, because the brochure really spells out how many people have this, and that lots of them play with the ends. Trying to access your inner strength so that you can talk about Trich and start taking care of yourself.
By: itstrichy on June 11, 2008
at 2:39 am
I can’t believe others eat the root too. I honestly thought I was the only person doing this. I have made bald spots on my head back in high school. Now I can just tell myself to stop. I do eat the root, and search for a good (?) one like an obsessed gambler, as mentioned above. My area I can’t stop in now is my beard, if I grow it. My wife helps, and is cool about it. I never do it after I smoke some pot though. I know that some people think pot is bad but the hair pulling messes with my daily functioning more. If I can feel, and you all know what I mean, a good one coming, I couldn’t let go to save my life due to the fear that I may loose the hair. Really whacked man.
By: Nate on July 6, 2008
at 5:50 am
This is 4 nate damn u hit my soft spot like everything u mentioned on ur page here hit home and with the medical use of marijuana it does 99% help me 2 realize what i am doing and either i stop for the rest of the day or i find myself pulling a very few here and there and when im relaxed i tell myself NO NO NO……..But i have been doing this 4 way 2 long and need to grow up, wake up, or just shave my head like brittney but im not that really crazy lol……..damn all u guys got me a little more comfortable writing about this and i think this is the first step……..:)
By: lela on July 28, 2009
at 10:00 pm
Hi! I used to have Trich until I followed the content of this website and haven’t pulled for 6 month…
Please try it, it’s worth a shot.
http://skylar24.haircure.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=TRICH
By: Jill on July 28, 2008
at 7:24 pm
i have this same disorder. i been pulling my hair since i was 12. i now like eating the roots on my hair.I am now bold. Iwore a wig for ten years. i admitt i need help. please i don’t no where to turn
By: Danielle on August 27, 2008
at 5:54 pm
Hi Danielle if u find help, that really does help please let me know as well…I am on ur same page for the last 22 years now and i cant take no more i just wnat my hair back and to stop this behavior…much respect and many blessings for all my people in this circle here with me please may the prayers 2 the creator b the only help we need.
By: lela on July 28, 2009
at 10:12 pm
I know exactly what you mean! But I don’t bite off the roots. I like to just pull them off with my fingernails. >.< Its mega embarassing. Especially in public. I like to look at it close up too.. So I look completely strange. I hate it soooo much!
By: Kelly on September 3, 2008
at 11:49 pm
I do it too. Used to spend hours tearing them out to find the best, biggest roots – Lately it’s more of an accepted casual pulling not as hardcore. On occasion if I pull too much my fingers hurt for a few days. It’s like clearing a hair forest you feel like you can’t stop until the section you want all gone is gone.
By: Xelandria on September 5, 2008
at 9:27 pm
Omg i cant believe it im shocked im so so shocked what i do is actually a problem..? and there is a name for it aswell..ok im scared now im 14 and i cant stop pulling out my hair n eatin the root…i jus cant keep my hands away watz wrong with me why am i like this can some 1 explain why i do this pleasee…is it a mental thing or summin omgosh
By: Anon on September 10, 2008
at 8:37 pm
WELL I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM AND I’M 15 THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 5 YEARS AND I’M TO EMBARASSED TO TELL MY FAMILY BECAUSE THEY WILL TAKE IT AS IF I’M CRAZY AND THEY WON’T UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S A HORRIBLE HABIT OR DISEASE.
By: FRANCIS on September 16, 2008
at 2:11 am
its crazy how we’re all different people and dont talk about it to many people but we all do the same thing. i wonder why our braind react the same way.
By: christine on October 4, 2008
at 3:29 am
Hi to all,
I am a 28 year old female who suffers from Trichotillomania and I have for 14 years. It started with trauma in my life and escalated to something I couldn’t control. I was eating the hair I was pulling and over 7 years it built up to the point where I could no longer digest my food properly because the hairball took up the entire space in my stomach. I had gone to doctors over many years but got no real answers even though my stomach was clearly larger from the blockage. I was ashamed to tell anyone what the problem was as I knew all along why I was feeling so sick. I thought I was crazy and who would actually pull hair out and eat it. Eventually I had to visit emergency and wouldn’t leave or take no for an answer. I told them to get a specialist in to do an endoscopy and they found what they call a trichobezoar or hairball. I was told I was 6 months away from dying had this been left untreated. This is not something to be taken lightly, if you or someone one you know may have this problem please tell them to get help. I went for surgery in 2001 and never ate my hair again. I still find myself pulling more often then not but I am conciously working on it day by day. We are not alone and there is help we can get, but the most powerful help we can get is from the will of our own minds. It can be overcome….if you make the choice.
By: trichanadian on October 25, 2008
at 1:04 am
I also forgot to mention that the hairball removed was the size of a football and weighed over 4 pounds. And one last comment for all those suffering, DONT be ashamed, stand tall and proud of who you are. No matter what, talk to someone about it, they will understand and want to help once they know what its all about.
By: trichanadian on October 25, 2008
at 1:11 am
well i have this disorder, i bite it off as well.
I landed up in a hospital for it.
Laurel Ridge here in San Antonio, i wear hair tracks and often a hat, i hate it it made me depressed seeing my sisters do there hair and me have to do it by hand.
But once you recieve help, and find coping skills youll find other ways to get rid of that feeling.
im only sixteen as well, it just goes to show you no one is alone in the process.
By: Gloria on November 4, 2008
at 12:52 am
The thing that upsets me is when people who have alopecia say omg i wish i had your problem…. well to be honest i might as well have alopecia because there is nothing to stop ones urge to pull.
I often imagine that this is what it must be like for heroin addicts…except we can never get away from the addiction because its always attached to us. Not to say its unbeatable… i have to believe that it is beatable just to stay sane.
The only thing that gives me hope is seeing long time suffers who have been pull free for 10 years… oh to have hair again! To not worry about how bad it looks all the live long day!
I can’t believe how many people suffer from this and yet there has been little research into it because its not ‘physically harmful’…according to my doctor who said ‘come back to me when youre really harming yourself…i mean its not like cutting is it!’….
Although, i imagine it is as psychologically damaging as cutting….if not more so. Or is it a genetic defect?
How do we end up with exactly the same symptoms like enjoying biting the ends off when we’ve never heard about our condition? There must be one thing it is down to… its not a learned behaviour… so what part of our brains already knows the stages of pulling, obsessing and eating and digging?!?!?!
It drives me silently mad! I hate it.
By: Hayley on November 21, 2008
at 10:32 pm
still doing it and eating the ends at 50+.. why??? it has ruined my life
By: metoo on December 6, 2008
at 3:19 am
hey all i have trich to and i am 16 ive had it for a few months now and trying to get over it but its hard every time i pull it is like a stress reliever adn i feel better the more i pull put at the same time i knowi need to stop but my hand just wont stop pulling i dont know what to do pls help!!!!
By: deserae on January 21, 2009
at 8:43 am
If any of you read these and say oh i have that or i do that too and you dont know what or why u are doing it…the GET HELP NOW..you might not have bald spots YET but i assure u if u keep it up u will! i statrted in the 6th grade it moved from my eyebrows..to eyelashes..to my hair on my head…my parents noticed finally asked me what the heck was going on bc i had a huge bald spot that bangs would not cover..i told them and as 6 years passed it got worse..i was so ashamed that i just tell them everythings ok and hope they dont look at my hair for a long time..I am dead serious if u just started or dont do it very often u need to get help and quit now..it has ruined my life and i believe it is too late me for mee…i have a HUUUGGGE bald spot starting from my hair line all the way an inch past my ears all i have is hair to through up in a messy bun and i have bangs that are clip ins…. thats all i used to do is find the really dark peieces of hair or the coarse hair bc i knew a cold root would be there..so it started as just pulling and feeling the root then…went to biting the root and when it dried playing with it…and now i dont swallow but i chew it…so u need to get help as soon as possible..i cant afford a therapist soo..but get this through your head do something about it now!! or it willl get worse.
By: ashamed3 on January 29, 2009
at 9:12 pm
I’ve had this since I was 17 and am now 26 – I went to see a doctor for it and the best thing to help me was he gave me an evelope and told me to put every hair I pulled in the envelope and the next time I saw him we’d look at the envelope and talk about it. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t pull any hairs out for 4 weeks! Cold turkey – maybe keep an envelope and ask a friend you trust to collect the evelope from you after 2 weeks or something. I think it helped me b/c it was a small victory and I was accountable to someone.
By: Nicole on February 6, 2009
at 2:27 am
wow, I have never heard this one, but what a good idea, i think i shall try that!!
By: glitterseason on February 20, 2009
at 12:10 pm
OMG WOW. im fourteen. ive had trich since 3rd grade. just this year did i start to pull out the hair on my head. at first ii just picked out the curly ones, then the short ones. until, one day i found a root. i went crazy it felt so cooll!! im addicted now. i love it. i pull hair everyday just to find a fat jellyfilled root. and then i play with it and bite it. im so addicted i have restorted to pulling my friends hair. now we all have visible bald spots….:(
By: Rachel on February 20, 2009
at 7:42 pm
wow…this is so weird….well i thought i was weird b/c i pull and eat the root as well. Ill pull for hours trying to find a “good root” or one that is red looking b/c those are “crunchy”…lol I sound like such a FREAK!
im 23 now and ive been pulling since i was 12. Just pubes and scalp hair…everywhere else hurts…ive tried therapy and pills….i dont know what to do anymore….
By: Summer on February 26, 2009
at 8:04 am
Hiyah everyone, im 16 and ive been pulling my hair since i was about 11. I’ve never told anyone, been to the doctors about bald spots when i was in 1st year, but was just put down to itching or something. It was so embarrassing, but I completely denied ever doing it. I was so ashamed of myself, i didn’t know there was other people with the same problem. I dont even know why it started, all i know is that it’s become a very bad habit and i’ve felt very depressed about the whole tihng. I even refused to go outside for about a whole year. Refused point blank to go to school with the fear of being teased, which I had been in 1st year. Then there was a time where i was with my family(who knew that there was sumthing wrong, but put it down to an irritating shampoo or something) and we were leaving for home on a bus. There was a few teenagers at the time who were sitting at the back of the bus taunting me, calling me all sorts of names. Nothing particularly offensive to anyone else, but things that made me ashamed ever more of myself. That’s what sent me into a deep depression which i still have. I mean, I can have a laugh but its always at the back of my mind.Its affected my whole life, i cant socialize with friends as well as i used to and dont go out as much. Sure I have other problems but i think that most of them routed from the hair pulling. I know I’m going on a bit, but this is like a huge relief for me, you know? I’ve never told a soul about it, not even close friends or family. Sorry if you feel like you’ve wasted youre time reading this but this is the only place ive learned that other people where like me. All the best to everyone in getting help with it, dont suffer alone. Lastly, I just had to say what was on my mind, this being the very first day i’ve actually read up on my problem. Ach, I’m pushing it.. Good luck to you all. xxxx
By: leanne1992 on March 6, 2009
at 5:51 am
wow, i thought i was alone… I pull them out and find the biggest one to. but once i pull it off, then i pull that apart too!!!!!
By: Sparklely on March 20, 2009
at 7:09 pm
omg i thought i was the only one who would like to eat the roots.. i havent gone to a doctor becuase all they tell me is that either im depressed or nervouse and i know for a fact that, that is not true! idk what makes me do it but ive been doing it since i was 13 and now im about to be 21 and i get sad becuase i have some bald spots and i wanna be able to put my hair down for my 21st bday! but i cant without wearing a wig or extensions and that sux! so i hope that something gets created so we can stop this trich thingy! lol i hate it but i cant stop its like a drug!
By: joann on March 25, 2009
at 4:17 am
I’m 23 years old & I’ve had trichotillomania since i was 10. I have suffered immensely over the last 13 years as a result of this disorder–it has affected every aspect of my life. I’ve been asked “what’s wrong with your hair?” so many times in my life and been in so many awkward situations because of it that it makes me depressed just to recall the memories. My relationships, motivation and self confidence among other things have been affected–majorly. My hair is supposed to be thick and beautiful. It’s a very pretty dark brown color with fire red highlights. But it’s bare on the sides with just thin curtains covering it and the top is very thin. I keep thinking: my life should’ve been normal…why me? It’s progressively gotten worse and now for the past 7-8 years I eat my hair–not just the root–if it looks good I’ll eat all of it. My digestion has definitely been affected by it. I keep telling my mom that my stomach is swollen and when I eat certain things it burns so bad I feel like I’m going to die. She just says “then get help.” Ok sure. I don’t have health insurance and I’m a single mom. Gastroenterologists, Psychiatrists and hypnotherapists are not cheap and don’t usually do pro-bono work. I’ve tried multiple therapists over the last 10 years but talking about it doesn’t help. I need to take some pretty drastic actions–as do all of those suffering–or I will be a 70 year old woman–hating my life and miserable and wishing I’d have done something before my life was over. I also have a 2 year old daughter. She will notice that her mommy doesn’t have hair. How would I tell my sweet innocent child why her mommy doesn’t have hair? I’ve decided enough is enough after reading all of these comments. I’ve suffered long enough. I will beat this tough bitch to the ground. I’m going to do what’s necessary to end this terrible chapter in my life. Exhaust every resource. I will have a full head of hair again. This will all just be a terrible memory. I hope you all can find ambition in your souls to rid yourself of this demon disorder
By: Rachael on April 17, 2009
at 4:54 am
I have trichotillomania also. I have pulled eyelashes, eyebrows, and the hair on my head. It has gotten so bad that I have had a huge bald spot on the back of my head and had to find some way to cover it in my school, where no hats were allowed. I have also gone almost completely without eyelashes or eyebrows, which made people ask questions, which made me very embarrassed. Most of my hair has grown back right now, but i still have very thin eyebrows and refuse to be seen without having used my eyebrow pencil to draw them in.
Also, I just wanted to urge you to see a doctor about the digestion problems, as this condition, if not treated, can be very dangerous.
I hope we can all find the strength to beat this disorder. Best of luck to everyone!
By: Emily on July 7, 2009
at 6:31 am
oh my god! you got a sticky one, thats my favorite kind… i thrive on those. i have trich too. im 12 years old and recently raised over 4,000$$ for my mitzvah project for my bat mitzvah, i donated the money to TLC(trichotillomania), an organazation for trich,
By: jessie on May 4, 2009
at 10:57 pm
Hey , im haley and im now 15 almost 16 ive been pulling since i was about 12 i was in the 6th grade. And i still do it. The need to do it is so unbarable i can hardly handle it; i also bite of the root. I feel like i cant stop pulling until i do get a BIG wet root , it sounds harsh and sick but it’s just the truth of it all. And when i do get what i want , it was so amazing to me that i keep doing it , most of the time 5…6….10 roots at a time i pick out the roots that ive tooken and eat them. I know it sounds sick , but its who you are and al hair pullers must feel ugly but in reality we are all beautifull. It took some time to be so confident and outgoing about my (OUR) problem but when i came to the point where i just said to myself “haley you pull your hair and eat the root .” I accepted that as who i am . But trust me, theres not a min. where i dont wish i couldnt just wake up and stop . But untill then im standing strong and i have faith, some days im stronger then others but im holding my head high and strong
i hope you feel better .
By: Haley on May 7, 2009
at 2:43 am
I’m a puller to & my name is also Haley. How ironic [:
By: Jazmine on August 3, 2009
at 9:04 pm
hi im nelly … i live in europe/austria and i have this too … im biting off the big white root ant chew it… ive started in the age of 9 years now im 23… 4 years i stopped and now ive started again…. my long beautiful hair
im so sad i dont know what to do … maybe i should marry a boy who has trich too? because im beautiful but my hair makes me to not meet any boy … if there is anybody from vienna who as trich boy or girl … i want tto meet and talk about it because i never talk to anybody about this nelly1985@ymail.com
By: nelly on June 1, 2009
at 2:19 am
Wow, as I sit here and read all the coments posted it makes me want to cry…it is such a relief that I am NOT
By: Jenn on June 16, 2009
at 7:14 am
*opps
the only one that suffers from this AWFUL disease!! I am very tired of doing this..I am 25 and have been at it since 14, grrr!!!! I also “eat” the root and feel so ashamed when I feel that I have been caught…
Anyway, I just hope that besides medicating myself there is another option!
By: Jenn on June 16, 2009
at 7:17 am
I have the same problem… i have gone to a therapist and here are some tips
1. to fix this problem you have to want to stop more than anything
2. you have to realize when you pull
3. you have to do something to keep from pulling up your hair up and putting hair spray in it helps)
4. when you start to pull you need to do something to entertain your hands like im always typing or holding a stress ball
5. STAY AWAY FROM MIRRORS
6. wear gloves and hats when your at home by your self
i hope these tips help—-Lucy
By: lucy on July 9, 2009
at 9:54 pm
I have been doing it since 16. I had an ingrown hair in my scalp that was really bothering me and my mother yanked it out. The root was completely intact: plump, juicy, fluid filled, large, shiny, and soft. I remember holding it and not wanting to throw it away. It was WEIRD. From that moment on things were different. I started pulling…..and snipping the roots off with my teeth…..constantly looking for another root like that first one…. (Never have found one). It is an unbearable urge. I start without knowing it. Usually when under stress. I keep going even though I know I should stop. “I’ll just do ONE more…..THEN I’ll stop”. It is worse when I am driving or alone. I will end up with a pile of hair. I can make a 3 or 4 inch in diameter completely bald spot in a day, easy. I have to come up with creative ways to hide it. I will go for 6 months or more without getting my hair cut to avoid having to “explain” what is wrong with my hair. I have NEVER ever admitted to anyone face to face or to anyone that I actually know that I have TTM. I didn’t even KNOW about TTM until four years ago! I am in my mid-thirties. I have not sought treatment. I’ve considered, seriously, cutting/shaving my hair off. I have permanent grooves in my front teeth (noticeable to me or if you look closely) from sliding the hair between my teeth until I find the juicy bit at the end then I snip it off, chew it a bit, maybe take it out of my mouth to inspect it, then I swallow it. It is such an odd, embarrassing, confusing, compulsive behavior. I don’t think it will ever get better. I don’t mean to drag anyone down, really, but I think I just have to try to control it and DEAL with it.
By: Melody on July 23, 2009
at 8:31 pm
Hey! Ive had this problem for about a 2 to 3 years now. Doctors will not help you. They only think we have mental problems people! They are not the people to go to. I have a HUGE bald spot on the back of my head and on the top i am slightly bald but the hairs i pulled a while back are growing in VERY SHORT and VERY NOTICABLE. i hate it. It looks horrid. Im ashamed very much! But i fixed my problem the best way i could, I shaved my head bald and bought a really nice wig and NOBODY can tell it’s not my real hair. look up lace front wigs! It’s the best thing that happened! I promise! My hair grew back my hair grew back more full and EVEN! haha i hope you all who have gone too far to be helped in this do what I did! It works. I know we all love those crunchy roots or the big huge ones, but it ruiens any social life. YOU NEED TO STOP!
By: Jazmine on August 3, 2009
at 8:58 pm